How to Use Nonviolent Communication to Solve Conflicts

How can the Nonviolent Communication Method by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg improve your life?

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Conflict resolution is a major aspect of my job. I want to share some of the top communication strategies I use to get people working together.

Most of the strategies I use are based on the work of Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, a true pioneer who invented the Nonviolent Communication Method. This method has been used successfully for many years to do everything from negotiating peace in the Middle East to negotiating peace between warring couples or children and parents. His method is even used by top hostage negotiators all over the world.

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Using this statement helps you start a really productive conversation.

Of course, I can only go over a few tips with you today, so make sure you check out his book called “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life.”

Dr. Rosenberg’s method is based on the fact that as human beings, we have the same needs and experience the same emotions. The point of nonviolent communication is to get to the heart of the matter, which isn’t easy.

The problem is that most of us don’t have a comprehensive vocabulary for our feelings or our needs. You can visit www.cnvc.org/training/needs-inventory for a free Needs and Feelings Inventory list to get a handle on things. You can even message me and I will email you a copy of each.

That is a good place to get started, but how can you use this method in your day-to-day life?

Let’s say that you get home from work really late and that your significant other appears to be upset the minute that you walk in the door. You would use this statement: “Honey, are you feeling _____ because you need _____?” Of course, it is up to you to guess what your significant other is feeling and what they need.

It can be challenging to use this statement, especially if your significant other greets you by saying, “You are the most insensitive person I’ve ever met.” Don’t get angry. Simply say, “Are you feeling angry because you need to feel important and loved?”

This is a magic formula. People immediately drop their defenses before they respond. They will either say, “Yes, that is exactly it,” or “No, that’s not it at all.”

Now, you did not agree or disagree with them or rise to the bait; asking them this question helps you strike right to the heart of the matter. What are they feeling and what are they needing? Even if you didn’t accurately guess what they need and feel, you opened up the opportunity to have a really productive conversation.

That is just a tidbit of what nonviolent communication has to offer. Check out this video of a workshop by Dr. Rosenberg for more information. He really shows you how to start using nonviolent communication in your everyday life.

I hope you found this information useful. If you have any other questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me. I look forward to speaking with you!

5 Tips to Become a Social Media Master

If you have a business or a service you’re promoting, you have to know how to utilize social media properly. Here are five tips on how to do that.

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Did you know that—according to a recent study—a whopping 79% of adults are on social media? If you have a business or a service you’re promoting, you should be on there too. Here are my five quick tips for doing social media right:

1. Set a schedule. I’ll admit that I’m the worst at this. It sometimes happens that you log on intending to spend just 15 minutes doing a quick post and checking your messages but end up staying on there for two hours. I’ve gotten into the habit of setting a timer on my phone. Whenever it goes off, that means it’s time for me to log off. I recommend doing something similar.

2. Have a plan. Determine ahead of time which platforms you’re going to post to, how often you’re going to post, and which content you want to put across those platforms. If planning that out for the whole year seems overwhelming, no worries! Just plan it for the first quarter and then stick to it.

3. Set a budget. Pick any amount—whether it’s a $15 Facebook ad campaign or a $1,500 Facebook ad campaign—and set your budget at the exact dollar amount you’re comfortable spending. When the money runs out, the campaign stops. That way there’s no chance of overspending.

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These tips will allow you to take advantage of social media instead of vice versa.

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4. Track your results. Make sure you know if it’s bringing in the results you need. If not, tweak your content or your message.

5. Have fun! Don’t forget to put some fun content out there, maybe about what you’re doing, what you’re seeing, or just a few fun facts about yourself. You don’t want to hammer your client base with nonstop business messages.

Bonus tip: Social media is not a replacement for real communication. It’s a fantastic tool for helping us stay top of mind for our clients, but it’s not a stand-in for making your daily prospecting calls or talking face-to-face with clients. At some point, you still have to engage in a conversation with a real human being if you want them to do business with you.

If you have any questions about this topic, please feel free to give me a call or shoot me an email. I’d be happy to speak with you!